I
want to lose weight, quit smoking, stop drinking Pepsi Max, clear my debts,
keep my home clean and tidy, redecorate, finish my coursework, start a new course,
get a job, discipline my kids, get into a good routine, be a good partner, be a
good friend, be a good mother, enjoy myself, make myself look nice and well
groomed every day, buy new clothes, buy the kids new clothes, teach my son to
swim, teach the other to read, improve my cooking, learn to sew, throw the
kids birthday party’s this year, learn
Hebrew, make new friends, save up for a new house, save up for a new car, sell
some books, start a blog, take the kids out more, cook more, sleep more, improve
my grammar and spelling, have some counselling, make cupcakes, run 10k, get my
aerial fixed, get an amazing present for my other half’s birthday, keep my legs smooth and learn to be more
patient, I could go on, these are the main ones amongst many other wishes and
desires swirling around in my head.
I
guess this is how the minds of most women work? And what I (and we) should
really want to have more realistic achievable goals instead of this long list
of wants and desires with no idea where to start or how to achieve them.
If
I work on them one or a few at a time, then I would have to choose which areas
to make improvements to first, and that means choosing NOT to improve on other
areas and this, to me, is a compromise that I am unable to let myself make; so
I continue onwards, failing at all of them.
If you always do
what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. I guess that means
time for a change and time for something new?
But
what?
Maybe
I should buy myself a magazine, a glossy magazine with bright colours and
titles such as ‘Get the Life You Want, Now’ and ‘Lose 7lb This Week and Still
Eat Chocolate’?
No,
I have bought myself many magazines with enticing titles like that, and my life
is still the same, which is why I am writing this. Plus, it wouldn’t help with
my plans of clearing debt and saving up, would it now?
Maybe
I should toughen up, stop being a baby and get on with it all? Well, that
approach clearly hasn’t worked in the past!
Reading
back on what I have wrote so far, makes me feel like I’m reading a piece that
is about to give you the magic answer, and tell you this was how my life was a
year ago and if you just purchase the e-book for £30 I can give you the secrets
to a happy life, but no, that’s not what I’m here to say, I don’t have the
answers, I’m looking for the answers and looking to share my journey in this
journal.
